Saturday, October 31, 2009

somethings fade...

do you ever wake up and realize that somethings just fade? What use to be beautiful and whole is now just a figment of its past glory.

I cant but wonder if maybe what was so whole was just a figment of my own mind. Like a dream within a dream. And nothin more.

I feel so different. So very much alone in my thoughts.

But, I've realized that I don't want to share them with anyone. What I use to crave: connection and sense of unity, I do not crave anymore. I don't want it anymore. If someone offered them to me right now, I would return them.


I've been blinding myself to the fact that I'm not okay. Yes I have my moments of happiness. But, I'm a wounded soul. But, even worse than my wounded soul...is the fact that I crave no solace.


The comfort of others use to help me, but now they just make me uncomfortable. It's as if I reject their solace. I have no need in them. Because if we are to lay the cards down. No one really understands a person fully. God yes. But another human being no. I think that we can try to understand the big picture. But, we don't no the full depth. We'd have to strip that person raw. If even than.

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