A MoOnLiT HaVen...

I'm breaking apart like glass that use to have a bit of light but is now just 100 little shards of insignificant glass.

I'm stressing so much. I have this scholarship. It's a full ride. I need it. My family needs it. It would mean a full ride to nw. It would mean my mom would not have to take double shifts nor see the worry in my dad's eyes. Gosh its important. too important.


....i feel like crying. Breaking slowly.


Everyone says don't worry about it. you'll do fine. It'll be ok. you'll get it. You'll do your best. But thats easy to say. But its not. The rejection this time will be intense.


This video is killing me. I feel like breaking my laptop. Of just saying i quit. But ive never been a quitter.


I don't know what else to do with this video. What do I add. I thought it was fine. My parents thought so.

But i asked other people, but they all had different takes to the video. All good...but different. I hear voices in my head. Do this. Do that.


ugh i wish i could dive. And never come back up. To swim til my lungs gave out. To feel that beautiful rush of completeness. Of no worries. No one to touch me. No one to effect me.

I'm going insane. great! :(.


this is important. To me its important.

does anyone care? do I care to anyone? Do I really?


I feel like im walking alone on this. maybe i am alone. Always been.


I need to be alone...thats why northwestern will be good. I will dive back into myself like the old jenn was. mute jenn.



im lost angel. and i feel like i cant reach anything solid right now...because there is nothing or no one to hold onto.