Thursday, October 15, 2009

Anti-Social

why is it that I feel so anti social about most everything. I feel like I getting back to the way I use to be in middle school. Shying away like usual. ugh.

And the weird thing is that I know I should be social...but when I'm doing something social...I can only keep the momentum for so much...and than I crash.


Whats up with me??? I know i'll never be a social butterfly...but come on. I use to make jokes....be full of life. But now i'm like all serious.


I've always been a serious person...comes from being an only child, having adults as friends. Also the fact that I never really got to be a kid. I always had to grow up...be responsible, etc. For that I'm happy. I look at some of my generation...and it hurts that they truly don't care about anything but themselves. It's always me, me, me. I couldnt think that way. But, the down bit of being beyond my years that its hard to adapt to others my age who have a more lighter view of things.



Do you know when I feel completely content...where I am able to brush off these complexities...is when I'm reading a book, drawing or watching a movie with my parents and my dog Annabelle.


I really need to get that book "tuesdays with morrie". It was a lifeline for me when I was in middle school. I realize how much impact the wise words of Morrie brought to my life. I need to get a copy asap.

I want to be happy. To be deliriously happy to the point of ecstasy.





Dear Lord and angel give me the wisdom to find light beyond the dark tunnel.

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