well I just e-signed my housing contract for engelhart at northwestern. Can you believe it...I'm going to be in chicago in 2 months 7 days. esh! haha i'm both excited and nervous. :) :(.
I seem to be completely lost from my friends. I rarely talk to them. not on phone nor aim. The only person whose really reached out recently is monica. I should call her so we can go eat at hop li's or something. It'll be nice to be with someone other than my parents and anabelle (puppy).
Part of me does want to be the only one reaching out to my friends. Cause if its obviously not bothering them that we're not connecting or talking as we use to...than maybe its all in my head. Which is likely. But still... I'd wish I'd get an aim from avni or ling or vennie saying hey. Even if im not on...just to say hello. Cause the funny thing is that I go online and i check to see my offline messages...and zilch nada. sad. and I've like signed online even on visible mode and nada. I'm so whinny. lol. its crazy to be thinkin this way.
I think its cause ever since I was small I'd see the movies or read those books where there was best friends or a group of best friends where they would do everything together, having best friend charms, talk to each other online even when they couldnt hang.
But its childish and idealistic to want that...to compare my friendships with those ideals. Everyone has their lives to live. and i totally understand and encourage that. But its nice to know that once and a while...people remember u. Even when u've been acting so weird and crazy like I have been these weeks.
Sometimes I feel so invisible. I'm sure other people feel the same way. Most of the time, I love to be invisible..but other times my emotions kick in and I long for some closeness from family and friends. tsk tsk...and there was I thinking I was so strong. tsk tsk.
eh at last. Life is life. Beautiful, and tragic in all its complexities.
So I'm in borders right now. My one day of just freedom from all issues. I love their ice tea here... plus u cant beat their 50 cent refills. yummy!
I must go about exercising my freedom before reality kicks in.
(prayer)
Dear lord and angel, I ask that you give me the wisdom to know when to let go.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment